It was Doug’s fault. That’s right, Doug was totally to blame. Wednesday was fully booked. A walk up Diamond Head, a hike up Koko Head, a quick swim and a shave ice. Off we went. The walk up Diamond Head included switchbacks, stairs, a tunnel, a spiral staircase, beautiful views and was sufficiently long and steep to warm us up.

Honolulu and Waikiki beach from the top of Diamond Head

We then went further east to Koko Head. Koko Head used to have a funicular. That is now the official trail. A dead straight path consisting of 1,447 railroad ties spaced unevenly acting as steps of varying heights from too low to too high. It starts off gently then gets steeper and steeper until it feels like you can reach out and touch the ties in front of you. Challenging to say the least.

Koko Head from the bottom of our “trail.”

“Don’t worry.” Doug said, “I know a trail that goes up the back side. It’s much easier.” Driving up the coast a bit more we parked and started out. Several warning signs presented themselves. First, we darted across the road on a blind curve without a cross walk and climbed over the guard rail. Then we spidered up a 6-foot cliff to find a somewhat used path that seemed to peter out in the distance. “We’ll just follow this until we cross the lava bridge.” Doug said. A quarter mile up. “There it is.”

The bridge was about ten feet wide with a 20-foot drop-off on either side. It was deceptively steep. Doug went first, I followed. It was steep enough that we had to go on all fours, hands, and feet, at some points. No foot or hand holds, just friction. Getting to the top of the bridge we decided that we weren’t going to go back down that way. We had passed the point of no return. The chances of slipping were just too great. “This is a lot harder than I remember.” Doug tossed out.

The lava bridge. It was much steeper than it looks here, believe me.

Did I mention that our lovely wives, Anne and Chris, are also brilliant? Looking at us slither up the lava bridge, they had no interest in following. They turned around saying they would meet us at the bottom of the funicular trail. They were smart and I was stupid. I had ignored all the warning signs and gotten myself into a position where I had no choice but to continue upwards.

Let me be fair; leading with “It was Doug’s fault.” was just dramatic license. One of the rules of biking in a group is that you don’t yell “Clear!” to the riders behind you when you are crossing a street. This is because every rider must be responsible for their own safety. Doug was reprising a hike he had done before, albeit when much younger, the ladies demonstrated their smarts by going back. I had not thought about the possible consequences. Stupid. I am responsible for my own safety.

Doug and I climbed on. It was 90 degrees, we had one 20-ounce bottle of water between us, the trail was narrow, long, steep, and the last half was following the ridgeline of a volcano caldera. There was a cliff just feet to either side and I am not comfortable with heights. As Doug walked the ridge he saw the trail. I on the other hand saw the chasms. As I said, I had not thought through the consequences.

Doug on the ridge.

We made it to the top, which had a stunning view, and started down the railroad ties to meet Anne and Chris. Did I mention there were 1,447 of them? They seemed to go on forever. How do I know the number? I counted them. That is a measure of how stressed I was. When I am pushing my limits on a hard, repetitive physical task I count. I do it on hard hill climbs counting pedal strokes when biking and here I was doing it on Koko Head.

1447 steps! When my son saw this picture he wrote “Dad needs a nap. He looks like he’s going to die.”

In any case, we met Anne and Chris at the bottom. We drove to the beach for a cool-down swim, Doug and Chris introduced us to Shave Ice, a delightful treat on a hot day, and we ended the day with a Mai Tai at Dukes. Overall, we had a great though challenging, time. And oh yes, it was Doug’s fault.

Drinks at Dukes!